Home Again

Shattered after 30 hours of travel including waiting times for planes. Gonna take a few days (weeks?) to shake off the jet lag. Its wierd being back in lil Petone...feels small....however makes you appreciate your house, surrounds, the safety etc of NZ a hell of lot more.

But what an amazing trip, lots to reflect on and hopefully take foward into our 'normal' lives.

Manfred

Sniff Last Day

Doh, Sat night had a temperature alternating with chills a sure sign of food poisoning (I blame the cold pieces of the godawful pizza I created I still compelled to chew). Nevertheless I tried to get out and about, hung out in a mall in Cavendish, went to the waterfront etc. Awesome merimba, drum and tribal dance bands playing on the streets. Francoise went home as I hung around and stupidly wearin a Vic Falls tee shirt ie scrreaming tourist attracted the attention of every down and out person in the vicinity. I had an articulate Zimbabwean approach me in a bookstore and tell me his life story. It was either a very convincing con or very upsetting. Then there were the two emaciated women who ran off with my drink bottle. Lots of street kids and homeless in Cape Town, the darker side of its tourist town image.

After getting in a taxi that needed to be push started, got back to Francoise and we went to an Ethiopian Resterant. So tasty and filling yet I was a bit too queasy to really enjoy..

Its Sun and I still feel ill but gotta get back to some NZ Docs back home. On a plane in a few hours.

See you all when we see you!

Manfred

The (almost) End of the World

Today with our mate Peter (who we toured with down the Garden Route and took us to meet his folks) we travelled to Cape Point AKA the Cape of Good Hope AKA the South-Western most part of Africa. We drove the cliffs of Chapman's Drive past Camps bay to get to the Cape.

Here the Indian and Atlantic oceans fully merge (although Cape Alguas 80km away takes the prize as the most Southern point of Africa and where the oceans 'officially' first meet)


The Cape is a key point for salty dogs in the know with its historic importance on the sea trade route to India. Still an important shipping lane for things too big to fit through the Suez Canal and littered with historic shipwrecks. The place the Flying Dutchman the ghost ship is reputed to haunt (though try as I might I saw nothing).

We were touring with an older couple of ex-university professors from Conneticut, so we had soem interesting discussions over lunch in Simon's Bay. We checked out the local African penguin colony, the naval base before driving to the bayside town of Fish Hoek for a pleasant surprise-seeing 2-3 southern right whales cavorting/mating in the Bay. No cool photos of them leaping out of the water though despite my yelling at them.

A quick stop in the Kirsten Bosch National Gardens then home with an offer of a place to stay in Conneticut if I make it there. Bye bye Peter till we come back :-(

I had a chance to get dropped off at the huge Casino here but im pretty pooped so i might give it a miss tonight...maybe tomorrow on our last day/night in South Africa.

Manfred

What lies beneath

While Francoise went shopping for lipstick mirrors or something I had booked a cage dive in Hans Bay (2 hours out of Cape Town) to see Great White Sharks! Its almost peak season for them as they prey on seal pups from the massive Seal Colony nearby on Dyer Island. Got picked up at 520am and bused out to the boat. Made friends with a nice honeymooning Latvian/German couple.

We sailed out in rolling waves and anchored near the seal island, lowered the 5 person cage and threw in the line with the bait made up of shark heads (GW's like eating other sharks)...immediately this brown and white thing came at it on its side under water...then more with tails and fins breaking the surface and slapping the cage as the bait line was pulled in and out (to lure them near the cage).

The Cage!

Everyone excitedly scrabbled for wetsuits. After a titanic effort I pulled mine on over my over Amarula-ed belly.


Quit teasing the shark
I was in the second rotation to go in and when the crew yell 'Down!' you hold your breath and duck under for a look....and i almost wet my wetsuit...to see this monster thing glide past the cage. Time and again sharks would make runs at the bait, come close to the cage and at one point one opened its mouth and moved in reaaal close....you pull your fingers and toes in when that happens. that cage looks like nothing compared to those big fishys. This engenders a great, fear induced comeraderie in the cage. We had in total about 3-4 sharks hanging around, the smallest 2 metres, the biggest 3.5 metres...he was a big one I tell ya. A couple of times the sharks were quick and in a flurry swallowed bait and line. A few times a face or front of the body would peek out of the water, but generally they were moving pretty sluggishly.

We were all starting to get a bit queasy from the swell so after a few hours we came back past the seal island, where pups cavort in the water near their impending sharkey doom.

But man that was cool and its nice to meet fellow travellers willing to throw themself into a potentially watery grave in the name of fun. I ordered a DVD taken of the hijinks so should be an amusing watch.

Manfred

A Monster Pizza at my Table

Here's the update on our last couple of days. Tuesday we checked out the District Six Museum and in the afternoon the mist covering Table Mountain finally cleared. The Mountain did exist afterall! As soon as we saw it we decided it must be climbed immediately. We jumped in a cab and headed towards the Gorge which has got a popular walking track along it. I have to say the drive up to the staring point went for quite some time and I was wondering if there would actually be much mountain left to climb. It was a pretty tough hike but we made it up monstrous stone stairs in less than an hour and a half and the view from the top was amazing:

Wednesday:
Today we checked out the Bo Kaap area and a few shops then headed to the waterfront for a trip to Robben Island. It's a pretty desolate place. Our tour guide was an ex political prisoner who spent 6 years incarcerated at the prison. He told us about working in the lime mines and smashing up pieces of slate which prisoners did just to keep them busy. We also saw Nelson Mandela's tiny cell and walked through the same gates Mandela did when he was freed. There's about 150 people who actually live on the island now. I have to say I wouldn't want to be one of them it's not the nicest place. I suppose at least there's penguins there but it's really isolated and not very pretty (though we weren't allowed to go in the wildlife area of the reserve so maybe that looks a bit nicer).

Once we got back from the waterfront we checked out a few shops and headed out to the Clay Oven for pizza. You can design your own and there were about 30 different ingredients to choose from. Doug created a God awful Chimera of a pizza which included salami, bacon, anchovies, (okay not really three animals but close enough) blue cheese, extra mozarella cheese, olives, bacon, olives, onions, garlic, mushrooms. I think it was quite disgusting and he got laughed at for requesting a doggy bag. Mine was much nicer. After that back to our room (we have a new room now - goodbye to the horrible astroturf carpet and prison toilet, but sadly the karaoke machine. our new room has a stereo in it - yay) to listen to the smooth sounds of Justin Timberlake (argh! I'm so ashamed I now know all the words) anyhoo,
L8rs!
Francoise

Cape Town Day 1

After some early morning kareoke of Wham's Club Tropicana (the mikes in our room work!) to pay back some loud Americans next door, we got nice breakfast at a Long St cafe then headed out exploring.

We firstly stumbled into Archbishop Desmond Tutu's St George Cathedral, then went to a slave museum housed ina former slave camp (Cape Town was buit on slave labour esp from South East Asia hence its melting pot quality today). Depressing. Lunch in the Company Gardens (where the first Dutch settlers grew veggies) watching squirrels race around. Then a zip round the Planetarium and Museum. Getting a bit museumed out at this stage. We then went to the Greenmarket market square to haggle over wooden hippos and table cloths (for a table we dont have). We walked to the waterfront to book tickets for later in the week to Robben Island (ie where Nelson was imprisoned) and stroll. People stuffing pamphlets in our hands for traditional healers cough witch doctors cough. Bought more touristy stuff then after a 'great' idea from me, I went to see Iron Man at a Waterfront Mall theatre while Francoise saw some period piece at an artsy theatre in same mall. We set out walking home at 10ish..hmmm Cape Town seems a bit less safe than Petone at night, dark figures waiting (or staggering) in car parks and far too deserted and unlit between the Waterfront and the central town. We managed to get a bit lost before jumping in a cab who agreed it was not wise to walk home as many homeless people and those drugged up lay in wait for unsuspecting Iron Man viewers. No more movies out at night methinks. There are some nice local jazz places I want to pop into some time this week...

More kareoke then bed I think.

Hope the weather clears soon so we can see/climb frikking Table Mountain. Its like Wellington weather here!

Manfred

Coffee in Napier et al (with photos!)

Friday:

After transcribing our millions of photos to CD, we took another look at the heads at Knyssa then took off to the Cango Wildlife Ranch for more creature encounters ie jaguar, oodles of crocs and annoying tourists 'In Bengal we have bigger tigers than THIS'

We went to an Ostrich Farm where I saw one of the funniest thing I have ever witnessed: Francoise riding an Ostrich screeching in terror (both her and the Ostrich).
I was er too muscly to ride the Ostrich I had to be content with a photo on its back as it sweated with the effort. We stayed at a french themed bed and breakfast (Ooo la la) after a nice dinner of ostrich for me and watery pasta for Francoise.

Francoise asking the guide somberly if the cemetary we saw on the Ostrich farm was an Ostrich Graveyard is the second funniest thing to happen that day.

Saturday:
We toured the huge caverns of the Cango Caves. Like Fraggle Rock, us being tiny invaders in this creepy spotlit water formed weird shapes and columns. The local people believe their ancestors live down there, I can believe it. I chose not to cave dive through 25cm wide sections in the adventure cave tour.

Afternoon and evening was spent at the beaches and cliffs of Mossel Bay. A bit like Mt Maunganui. We to a interesting museum on Portugese explorers in the area and trade routes. I have many spices to trade here.

Our hotel was right on the waters edge, monstrous ocean waves thundering at its feet, great. We saved some 'dassies' ie rock rabbits from some stray dogs um and sped away from a cliff top shanty area we stumbled into.

We rang our respective mothers for Mothers Day then relaxed to the ocean roaring outside.

Sunday:
Our tour guide is from a town out of Cape Town called Napier (!) I know like me. Named for the father of the guy my Napier is named for. Once he found out where I was from he was ecstatic. Apparently there had been some past correspondence between the two Napiers. We went to his Napier, a rural little town like Waipukerau. He took Francoise and I home to meet his parents for coffee and muffins, nice change of pace.



We did a pop by to Hermanus a great land based whale watching town though we are in the wrong time of the year dammit. Not even a minnow.

Through rubbish weather we then drove to Cape Town. Couldnt see much in the poor weather, not even Table Mountain. The street we are staying on is like Cuba Street's older sister, its wierd. We are in a boutique ie eccentric backpackers. Each room is themed-ours is Kareoke with working machine and mikes...its fate.

ps there is also a 'Wellington' in SA, also near Cape Town. Cape Town beckons for the rest of the week!

Manfred

TV

-Kids shows on the pros and cons of tribal circumcision
-Trashy soapsdealing with HIV, office romance and crime
-Add after add for investment opportunities
-Broad Afrikanner commedies with wigs and fake teeth

The most normal thing I watched was a Wrestling show with a Irish dwarf named Hornswoggle taking down a huge guy

Manfred

On the Road Again

Thursday

After a pleasant if eerie night in our colonial style bed and breakfast reminiscent of the Overlook Hotel in Stephen King's 'The Shining' we hooked up with Peter our genial Afrikanner Guide for another tour party of ...just us in a van. We left the underrated in tour books coast city of Port Elizabeth (and any chance of being among the first in Africa to see 'Iron Man' which opens as we left) to do the 4 day drive down inexorably to Cape Town.

The cultivated, lush scenery makes a change from scrub and red earth. Moisture from the sea gets trapped by moutains making the coastal stretch lush ()with semi desert behind it we are to see later)

We saw the worlds highest bungee jump (250+ metres) (too petrified to do it) and had lunch in the coastal forests of Tsitsikamma National Park. We then drove to the picturesque town of Knyssa (like a Canadian lake resort town not that Ive been to Canada) for a cruise on the estuary to the Heads where the Indian Ocean pours in. More and more Amarula to the horror of the Guide.

Nice Seafood for dinner (eat that marlin Francoise) then sleeping at the Fish Eagle Lodge overlooking the water. Any place with a jacquzi I am a fan of. Im really roughing it.

Guide is friendly and has given great suggestions for things to do in Cape Town. Off driving to an ostrich farm today and into more arid areas.

Manfred

I See the Sea!

Arrived in Port Elizabeth after a relaxing night sleeping in a little bunk bed on the train. Pretty cool travelling while you sleep. FAntastic to see the ocean again after five weeks! I raced in and had a quick wade around. Beautiful golden sand here but beware of people begging. Sigh. Went to Bayworld (museum, ocean park thing) which was pretty cool in an old school kind of way and checked into our little lodge.
Francoise

Voyage of the Damned

After an escorted drive and walk to pay and collect our rail tickets through the surprisingly safe seeming JoBurg rail station and a delayed start we got on our lil sleeper carriage. We were nestled in a small airtight box reminecent of a U-Boat's toilet. We huddled and tried to play cards with shivering hands as we choo chooed out past shanty towns, trash, urban waste, pollution and cute sheep. Until the locomotive died after 3 hours in a remote piece of plains, stranding us all for 3 more hours as I banged my head on the aforesaid small cabin. We got under way then stopped and got underway and repeat etc until we got in Port Elizabeth 4 hours late...
Manfred

Mean Streets

(Preliminary aside-Whoops at falls in the morning both of us wearing togs at the falls as burkha clad Muslims came past...we felt exposed)

After a hair raising Zambian Airways Flight (where the pilot threw it round and climbed like he was avoiding surface to air missles) we had the stress of not finding our transfer at the airport for 40 minutes before embracing him in delight and being driven back to the nice people at the Mapungabwe Hotel in central Joberg, past the gunshops, barb wire and vibe of Harlem with a Hangover (not that Ive been to Harlem but I have had hangovers)

We had left some gear with them before doing Kruger and it was all safe and sound. Grrr tried for ages to call a NZ bank that night to check balances...fricking on hold endlessly!

Woke to the stirring sounds of sirens and attack dogs barking. We packed a box of things to send back to NZ to lighten our groaning backpacks and a somber Nigerian staff member offered to 'ride shotgun' or guard us as we went out into the streets to post it. We got there safe-bar the wandering hands of a gentleman behind Francoise in the queue accidently on purpose brushing her rump. So many security people everywhere on the streets hence the 'eye of the storm' feeling of safety. We used the gym after that at the hotel (so full of complimentary meals) then relaxed. I went for a solo stroll of downtown, trying to look as hard as I could ie I would run behind groups of locals pretending I was their friend. I got a bit too far into rundown shops (no book stores anyway! what am I supposed to do on the train!) and suspicious glances, so scampered back.

Lets hope the choo choo and the rumoured cesspool of JBerg Rail Station goes ok tomorrow

Manfred

Last Day in Zambia

Sigh, I was enjoying it here lazing near the falls. You read Francoise' baboon terror, its fun watching other people getting harrassed by the daring monkeys they have here:
-running into open doors
-jumping on tables and stealing food
-grabbing a sandwhich in a girls hand
-mobbing a stoopid Euro-tourist who went for a walk with 2 bannanas in his hand

Gettin mobbed by the agressive/desperate stall workers they have outside the gate here was not as fun. People can still be decent doing transactions, not fun to have the deceit, guilt tripping, bullying etc it was worse than Swaziland.

I love wandering, slipping and sliding around the deafening falls. I asked staff if many tourists fall into the falls...theres hardly any railing or visibility in places with the spray,, slippery paths and sheer drops...it aint up to OSH standards. You fall in here at peak flow season you get millions of litres of water per second bearing you down the 111 metres to your death. A few people do have accidents and fall in each year and some deaths here are self inflicted.

Everyones pretty friendly here (bar said market sellers) maybe cos its a touristy place, maybe cos we are all here to enjoy the falls, maybe they like laughing at the drenched kiwis who wont hire raincoats. Had a nice sunset cruise on the Zambezi River last night watching the wildlife like elephants feasting on the riverbank or obnoxious shipboard Russians chattering loudly and pushing people out of the best viewing spots on the boat. 'Those Russians' as the Bony M song goes.

Fingers crossed train is sorted after more requisite phone nightmares, we'll stay an extra night in Joburg to link with another train, losing a night in Port Elizabeth. Maybe Ill get a good mugging story for the blog hee

Manfred

Baboon Hoon! (now with photo!)

Argh,
Sitting in my hotel room watching Meet the Fokkers while Doug was out when suddenly a baboon comes racing through my open ranch slider door! He jumped up on the TV cabinet and made a beeline for the tea and coffee supplies, knocking a lamp over on the way. I was so freaked out for a few seconds I couldn't believe what was happening. He rifled through the supplies, discarding the coffee sachets and snatched the sugar packets, just about knocking the glasses and coffee cups off the cabinet. Then he quickly raced out again leaving a muddy pawprint on one of the chairs. I got a photo of him enjoying his booty on the lawn:

Francoise

Z is for Zambia (updated with photos)

Its been a pretty stressful last day or so, and I dont just mean Francoise HATING the casino complex that was next to our hotel and forbidding me to join the high rollers club here or buying tacky gambling flavoured merchandise eg slot machine coffee mugs, little working poker machine banks etc)

We discovered a connecting train ride we intended to take Joburg-Port Elizabeth had been wrongly booked by the operator for May 2nd (when we to be in Zambia!) not May 5 as we wanted. Its a nightmare trying to get hold of the train operators in SA, not just with finding a phone line or net connection that works but also getting hold of anyone that cares. They seem completely disinterested especially as they have our money already. So we were madly trying to sort that out as we checked out of the Emperor's Palace, finding out they had 'misplaced' our 400 rand bond for phone use as we had to rush for the airport shuttle. So we were seething, out of pocket and scrapping about awful service as we were dumped into the monstrous queues of JoBurg airport. With no luck getting hold of the train on airport phones we concentrated on getting on our flight (Customs didnt recognise my fresh faced passport photo compared to my current hardened face and travel beard) to Zambia. They chuck you on a bus and drive you the length of the airport to a dinky little jet.
No vegetarian fare on the 2 hour flight for Francoise not helping her mood.

Random Poison Interlude-I have see black widow like spiders called Button Spiders, golden orb weaving monsters but only seen 2 wild snakes here, 2 puff adders (with venom that rots your flesh) crawling across roads in front of game drives we were on. However I was going to the bathroom late in our little room in the Serondella Reserve 2 nights ago and there was a scorpion the size of my middle finger on the wall. I felt the safest course was the squish it with an air freshener and hope it was not endangered.


A nice view of the Victoria Falls from the plane at least. Looks like a huge rent in the earth with smoke billowing out of it. Got into the 27 degree temperatures of dusty Livingstone Airport, Zambia for a rude surprise=$50 US visa fee each! no travel agent or net research told us that! So we ponied up the cash found our transfer and we taken through the quirky town of Livingstone (past signs that said 'Succeed the RIGHT way not the CORRUPT way') to the Zambezi Sun Hotel. We were met by and photo-ed with guys in tribal dress (less embarrassing than being drummed into Serondella again 2 days ago like we were royalty)

The hotel complex is nice and African themed ('fake looking' Francoise sneered) and right on the lip of the Vic Falls (you hear it rumbling all the time-its in peak flood this time of year). Such a tourist trap here-everythin in US dollars which is 1 US Dollar to 3000 kotcha? the local currency...so we cant eat or drink too much...I didnt budget for tourist traps

Cue more stress of no working phone or net lines to confirm/rebook the bleeding Port Elizabeth Train. After the additional upset of finding out the Vic Falls African Elephant riden safari was booked out for days in advance (I was devastated) we went to look at the falls themself to calm down....

They are staggering, monstrous. Photos dont really do them justice when your a speck on the edge of a huge abyss of white water and mist. You get soaked in the spray wandering along them past poor railing and slippery ground. I had some Africans roaring with laffter as I tried ducking under their raincoats.
'Dont get too close Doug!'
With phone and net out we gave up on the train for now, Francoise got on the net finally while I wallowed in the huge swimming hotel pool they have here and strutted for the bathing beauties (until a huge German did a bomb into the water yelling 'Wunderbar!!!'

We then went and had expensive drinks and dinner (dam US bucks!!!) with a cheesy african band playing Shania Twain music for the jetset.

Next day we did an early walk along the falls with no one else around wearing togs. Sliding around on narrow bridges and paths where you cant see anything in front of your face but whiteness with the roar of the water. Bitchin.

We've stuffed to capacity on the complimentary breakfast (so we dont need to eat anymore) with more walks today and a cruise on the Zambezi at night. Now if we can just get hold of someone in the stinking South African rail system

sigh

Manfred

photos to come

Kruger Tour Update!!!

Typing this in a dingy internet room in the monstrous Emperor's Palace Casino + Hotel in JoBerg. Its hu indoor casino and hotel complex under a fake blue sky and kitch Grecian/Roman statuary is a sight to behold.

We left the reserve on Sunday to our hotel in the centre of JoBerg. We were told we could only wander safely in a one block radius (which I did). Early Monday morning we were picked up by our tour driver Andre for a grand tour party of three (including him). Andre had food poisoning so was not the most upbeat at first, poor guy. We talked alot about the dire situation in Zimbabwe and his two little spaniels Sally and Phoebe.

We saw awesome views from 1700 feet above the "Valley of the Elephants" and stunning panoramic views of the world's only green canyon.

After a long drive we spent the night at a charming private reserve with tame bush babies, free shots and lots of teasing about the world cup.

Next day we drove around Kruger proper, we saw elephants, lions roaring and lots of other game. We did a night drive on a bus packed with Wellingtonians!

Wednesday after breakfast while watching a bull elephant at the fence we drove to a four star private game reserve for pampering xxx and lots of views of the "big five" including a leopard!

We were forced to endure the rantings of some xenophobic Afrikaaners as well as a promotional DVD for the remote island of Saint Helena an inhabitant insisted on us watching. I also found out ShakaZulu would have had me killed as a short man and a poor warrior.

The next day hyena, lionesses with bellies stuffed full of prey and then finding out the airline we were flying on to Zambia had gone bankrupt. With rebooked tickets we drove back to Johannesburg through a lightening storm to our current lodgings, amidst the garish glitz of legalised gambling.

Will report back after Zambia!
Manfred

Gooodbye Reserve

'Clubbing' last night turned out being trapped in a 'good ole boys' Afrikanners bar with leering men dressed like motorbike riders. None too exciting.

Last full day on the reserve and we chilled out with (surprise) liquor coffees and game driving...not without the usual ute-stuck in mud business- but I wont put that photo of me covered in sprayed mud up! Several breakneck journeys on the back of the ute down highways to bottle stores and we closed it all off with a braii (love that meat) around a monster fire of my own construction.

Then it dissolved into loud music in the pool house, bad dancing and drunken goodbyes. Funny how you get to know people after working and living together... then its all gone. Ah well.

Off at 12pm Sun on the drive into our hotel in the center of J'Beg. Gulp.

Blog entries may be sporadic later on, have no idea when we'll get to net access

Toodles

Manfred & Francoise

Bonfire of the Manatees

Friday and our last working day on the Reserve. Of course it could not be a relaxed last day. The 4 volunteers had to split up and do separate walks along the fences of the reserve to check for breaks, cut wire etc. I get antsy walking alone in the wild with only a crude map to guide me. 'Walk for 5 kms then look for the power substation' they said 'You cant miss it'

Of course, while I saw a shanty house with homing pigons and made a locust friend:

...I saw no power station. No wires or transmitters or whatever. The fence ended at a house with a dog and an African who spoke no English. Cursing the fence I ducked back and jumped some barb wire, ran through a private plot, scaled another fence and made my way to another fence which luckily led me to a landmark I knew, from where I could make my way to my pick up point. 'Oh yeah we should have told you about that house and how you have to go through a gate then another gate then round it etc etc etc'

Getting back to base, Francoise was long overdue from her fence walk so we had to drive out on a search party, leading to me scaling more fences looking for her. I found her covered in prickles, looking beat. She had no watch and had no idea what time we were supposed to be heading home. I impressed on her the need for a watch. Freaking fence walks.

The arvo was more fun. We got to burn -using diesel- the umpteenth piles and piles of grass and dried out weeds we'd cut over the week, then beat away at it with rubber broom like things:

Beat, beat, whack, whack

(It was more satisfying to me than a previous bout of sanctioned arson I was asked to do incinerating expired bird medicines at the bird sanctuary...that made some NASTY smoke)

Anyway, I decided to beat the fire from the wind whipped smoke billowing side...eyes running with tears, unable to breath I forgot whether you were supposed to stand above the smoke or get below it (30 years of stop, drop and roll was forgotten) Finally I clicked, got below it and raced out to fresh air, just as panicked neighbours and a rural fire fighter turned up to see what the burning strip of flame beside the fence line was. 'nothing to see, return to your homes' We stayed out till dark beating out embers, then went in for our last cooked meal curtesy of the maid who works here Mon-Fri...(I must look into getting a maid back home, her food-even the vegetarian food- is tasty.)

Oh well, its 8pm now, better go gussy up as we are supposed to be taken out tonight clubbing in Pretoria by a permanent worker here, that should be fun.

Manfred

Lively up Yourself

Did you know-

The fruit of the marula tree which grows on the savannah ripens, ferments in the sun and brings elephants for miles who come to devour the fruit and get tiddly. It is this fruit that the drink Amarula Cream (product of South Africa) comes from (duh).

In tribute to the humble African tree and cos we had the arvo off, we decided to drink Amarula Coffees (far, far nicer than brandy coffees) and listen to Bob Marley until sundown. Much more fun than the grass seed collecting we did this morning in the most demented easter egg hunt ever 'Wow, you found a rare grass seed, good for you!' (they told us we were going fencing, the liars)

Back to the alcohol topic, I did have to laugh when a South African guy said with a heartfelt smile that he liked nothing better to drink, than a bottle of Don Pedro wine. My only exposure to the 'Don Pedro' brand in NZ is it as a swamp water tasting cooking wine.

Manfred (who swears he was only tasting the Don Pedro to see how it went with his cooking)

Last Week on the Reserve

With 2 days of weed whacking down its only, 2 fence repair days and an 'invader control' (plant not alien) day to go then its off to J'Berg for a night then a tour of Kruger park and its surrounds...with a pop into Zambia.

We'll miss the landscape stretching past the fence and seeing creatures wandering past at dawn and dusk as we coffee, play cards, drink or listen repeatedly to awful cds. Will miss the varsity holiday vibe of the outdoor work, friendly waves from locals and the characters we've met working here. I wont miss grass analysis. Not that it isnt vital. Ahem. But on the whole thus far the experience has measured up to what we wanted it to be.

Manfred

Bits

Hmm, Mirkwood Estate, Gandalf & Radagast Holdings, some properties around the Reserve have a Lord of the Rings Fetish.

Getting sick of rolling blackouts...demand is far exceeding supply, have not had regular blackouts since I was a kid in Hawkes Bay.

Eating so much chocolate & beer...nothing else to do during a blackout, after all

Temperature plunged 10 degress yesterday arvo. We've spent today freezing cold using petrol driven weed whackers to clear fire breaks around fences. Trust Francoise to grab the fanciest one while I get the pyscho one that revs up by itself. We're going to have words tonight.

Off to drink more beer

The Bird Witch Project

Late Update-Spent Tuesday -Friday at a Bird and Wildlife Sanctuary. Pretty cool birds and the couple who ran the place were friendly. The living conditions were a bit ... rustic. We were in tents which were freezing at night time. I felt a bit jealous of the birds who were indoors with heatlamps at night! Alot of the work involved cleaning up after the birds. Yech, I never knew that raptors (birds who eat animals) threw up this nasty fur ball of all the stuff they can't digest, eww. I'm thinking I like the vegetarian birds the best.

Me moving into my luxurious accommodation:

Marsh Owl:

Doug holding a baby barn owl, we had six of these little guys move into the sanctuary the second day we were there. They were hissing at us which was pretty funny considering how intimidating they were (not).

My sweet little Swift. I got to feed this wee cutey by hand!

Bella the parrot who loves me...

and Charley the bird who wanted me dead. I still have bruises and scratches from this nasty African Grey.

Doug holding an African Snake Eagle.

Francoise

Golf Kart vs Eagle Cage

Firstly, note to self. A solo night walk to a dam on the reserve to find the mysterious loud night croakers, will end in wet shoes, no frogs, covered in 'black jack' ie prickly weed and challenged by neighbours who think you are scouting out the Reserve for a home invasion.

Saturday, despite being a tad animal and bird weary, we decided to check out Pretoria Zoo, which is supposed to be one of the top zoos in Africa if not the world...guess funding aint what it used to be. Definitely dilapidated in places, with some ratty looking enclosures and sad animals. Some nice items here and there (like Komodo Dragons!)...

(hippo says yawn...)

(getting to pet that water buffalo I always wanted to)

Generally however the people were more entertaining to watch than the animals. From the unhelpful, disinterested staff 'I sell ice creams I DO NOT KNOW where the snakes are!' to the huge family groups yelling at the animals to do things, to the corpulent zoo visitors riding around on crazily fast golf carts rather than walk. A family of large Afrikanners careened past us, over corrected and slammed at full speed into an eagle cage...the passengers were too large to fly out, rather they rolled out onto the ground and commencing wailing. They took out a good portion of fencing, dented the cage and almost took us out.

We tried to get help: 'I CLEAN, not help you', finally told someone who hopefully went to assist them. We then saw an infant fall off the back of another kart (whose mother attempted to calm it by putting a giant mammary in its face.) and a cop car racing around the zoo to find hooligans yelling at the lions (not me).

Whether it is a zoo or the country, things do fall apart and you hope individuals will rise above their inequalities, self interests ands differences to keep the whole on track

Thoughtful Manfred

Swaziland...the horror....

(Our cottage by day)

It was Monday, I felt almost over my cold/flu (passed it to Kim) and we planned to get going early to see a few sights before arriving nice and early back at the Klipkop Reserve so Kim could catch her 11pm flight home to Canada that night.

And the car would not start.

No matter what we did, how we tried to clean out water from the engine collected during last nights drive, nothing would happen. There was no instruction manual or toolkit with the car and we were 12 km from phones, electricity, clean water, food etc...we were a bit freaked. We found a cottage cleaner and begged her to call a mechanic. After first telling us he was away she relented and told us to patiently wait. African time is not time as I know it. 6 hours later, after boredom, no toilet,no food, little water, spiders and sun, a trinity of mechanics turned up. After money, work and time they diagnosed it was the hijacking prevention/car disabling custom job playing up and we just needed to reset it. We angrily noted to ourselves how it would have been nice to be told about this feature of the car and how to reset it or be given a manual before we were rented the car but anyway...'Thank God' the mechanics told us to do.

We were on our way, got a bit lost, ended up in a busy market, got guided out for a fee by a taxi driver, were on our way again when the car started shaking. Just a bit. Kim was getting quite worried about her flight as it was 6pm and we still had the border crossing and a 3-4 hour drive after that. We went smoothly through the border back into South Africa, it was dark, the car was shaking more and more and then with a crash, the bumper came loose, followed shortly by sparks and a side panel of the car which tore the front right wheel down to the inner tyre. $hit. We were stopped hundreds of kms from home on a deserted highway with scenes saying 'Do Not Stop!-Crime Zone'

(Our crew assesses the damage by the side of the road while I helpfully document this for posterity)

A terrified looking motorist stopped by us for 2 seconds, thought it was a ruse to shoot him then raced off. Our hazard lights did not work 100% (The uno was dying) The ancient wheel brace, the worn down nuts and my puny arms meant we could not get the damaged tire off. Then 2 cop cars turned up, alerted by the scared motorist. They escorted us to a service station in a cesspool called Carolina, South Africa. A town of trucker stops, beady eyes and security cars everywhere. We vainly tried to find a mechanic, while Kim (sucessfully)changed her flights. The cops stayed around for a while 'You are safe so long as you do not move from this spot' I went for a quick recce and quickly darted back to the car...there was no street lighting at all and too many unfriendly faces and shadows.

We got hold of our Reserve whose staff started the 2 hour drive towards us as we hoped the service station did not turn off its lights. The cop cars took off leaving me the lone male to protect my herd.

At 10ish thankfully the reserve staff turned up with the right tools to rip off the tire. They got the car driveable, heard our tale of woe, then with us all piled in their Mercedes, we did a tandem 160-170km breakneck drive back home. We got there 12pm, its 212AM now as I sit typing this horror down.

I think our guardian angels got hazard pay tonight

Well off for the next few days to an off site bird sanctuary for some restful tending of injured owls and feeding of raptors. Will catch up after that.

Manfred.

Swaziland Long Weekend-The Good

After a peppy 3.5 hour drive through the empty spaces (bar power plants and curious cops stopping our Uno) of South Africa, Friday we 4 travellers (Francoise, I, Kim (Canadian) and Jenny (Aussie)) crossed the border into Swaziland. Despite its 70% of people below the poverty line, 40% unemployment and highest rate of HIV infection in the world, the people seemd more chilled out than South Africa (lots of waving hello to us)...almost too chilled out. Directions, transactions etc are done at a glacial pace. Signposting is vague at best, utterly deceitful at worst. In the South-ish where we started the climate was humid, the vegetation lush compared to dry South Africa. Quite like NZ in places with its rolling green (except for the scale of course.)

We hit the glass factory and markets. Francoise got a rude introduction to the lengths sellers will go to and the crazy prices they will demand for mass prodused trinkets. Its a bit stressful when you aren't used to it.

That afternoon after long tedious map reading and back tracking due to aforementioned useless signage and locals laughing at us stupid tourists, we found our accomodation in the Milwane Game Reserve. Nice little traditional looking bungalows sans toilets...sigh. Still we had a good meal and some nice local beers by a fire, followed by some energetic traditional dancing by the staff.

Saturday we decided to get to grips with the local fauna.

'pull that warthogs tail!'

We went for a long walk (sigh so unfit especially in humidity) sniffing out warthogs, zebra, vainly searching for hippo, while avoiding a few fresh water crocs.

'but I want to pull his tail too...'

That night we had a nice candle lit dinner overlooking a waterhole eating (well some of us anyway) Impala stir fry...yum.

Sunday, we opted for a change of scene and went to Hlane Game Reserve in the North West. A lot drier and poorer looking than whence we came. Cows and goats all over the roads. But still people looked happy. Hlane seemed a nice set up even the skulls of rhino and hippo on the gates and we booked in a game drive and a guided walk.

On the game drive we saw elephant devastated forests, the back end of an elephant, 6 lazy lions, hornbill birds and this surly mother protecting her calf:

She did a bit of a charge at the vehicle so we stopped and waited her out.

On the game walk the guide told us to stand perfectly still if elephants charged at us and that elephant tracking was dangerous, but he would try to get us to see them. By climbing up tress, standing down wind etc we got close to a group of female tuskers but no good photo opportunities. Felt the tracking/hunting adrenaline...though in Swaziland Poachers or apparent Poachers are allowed to be lawfully shot on sight.

After more Impala meat (again not for all) to the sound of hippos roaring, we took the long, rough muddy drive in the dark to our camp site 12 kms into the inner reserve. Ulp. We almost drowned our little Uno in some huge holes, shook it up on rocks and get all the electrics on the blink. A grim drive in the dark. We got to our lit up cottage and it was nice, if as said remote. I thought it would be cool to do a solo torch walk from the cottage into the surrounds at night. I went 5 minutes and almost blundered into a man sized web with a palm sized armoured spider in the middle....the same type earlier a guide said kills birds and small baboons in its web. I ran back to the cottage...little did I know the trial that lay in wait the next day...

to be continued

Manfred (a small baboon)

Happenings of Late

-Baby G found alive and well

-We did not get in too much trouble for losing the ute...it got towed out

-I still feel flu ridden...makes working fun. Taking some suppository sized African Aspirin derivitive.

-At 4am a couple of nights ago, we were woken by crashing metal and dogs barking...we thought we were under attack, so I grabbed a kitchen fork and went outside...to find the horse tipping over garbage cans

-Interesting talking to Afrikanners who were around '94 when Aparteid ended to get the sense of fear they got that they were all going to be brutalised.

-A large pig came running through a place we stopped at in the ute, chased by an African with a stick. Francoise got to pet it.

-We have been during a grass survey...grassy, I really can see the hundreds of different grasses they have here...ah

-On a trip to the mall in Pretoria, we were accosted by a seller of cheap camoflaged caps at the traffic lights:

'Hey want to buy a cap?'

'No thank you.'

'Because I like your car its my favourite model I give you these samples FREE'

'Oh, cool thank you'

'...now please give me any monies you can spare, cmon Miss California and Mr Personality'

'Um sorry, no money'

'AFTER HOURS,I'M COMING!!!!' (ie to kill us)

We drove off both bemused and unsettled. Can we not have courteous sellers of junk at traffic lights please?

Otherwise, off to Swaziland 4hr car drive from here, on the weekend. Need our passports, apparently its a beautiful place.
(Please no rude junk sellers)

Manfred

1,2,3,4 animals

Did a game count today which involves trekking through the park and counting the animals (the 'good' ones not vermin like jackals). It makes it more interesting that a) the reserve is not 100% sure what animals they have released in there have stayed here and b) everything hides so well. While we saw giraffe, no sign of the baby which is worrying.

I got a sore throat during the day which seems to be developing into some kinda flu...hopefully not some wierd African malady (insert sympathy here)

We were told there were signs of a leopard around here a few years ago ie mauled carcasses but nothing recently.

Just when it looked like a normal unblogworthy day was coming to an end we were asked to go on a night drive to discourage any poachers, look for game etc We saw some bat eared foxes and the passengers had a few beers before our driver decided to take a different road home than usual...we promptly got stuck in a long stretch of water and mud. Cue us cursing waving torches in the darkness pushing and pulling the ute trapped in the Bog of Eternal Stench, our shoes (and Francoise' natty reefers and socks) getting suck down into the morass. We gave up and commenced a smartly paced torch led walk back towards the house through the long grass. You know how puny humans really are when you can hear things moving and crashing around in the dark and you have no idea what they are and whether they think you are tasty or just worth roughing up. The leopard was much on my mind as was the cobras, hyena, jackals, scorpions and other beasties we've been told are reputed to be out on the reserve.

One last startling of some Zebra and we got back to ahve a coffee and face the music for 1 x lost ute.

The World's Biggest Hamster Wheel

Now every day on this continent is seeming a little surreal but today was more so than most. Early morning, we had to transport a huge circular wire trap to a house in the JoBerg suburbs. It was intended for Hyrax/Rock Rabbits ie big gunea pig looking things. The house was apparently plagued with the 'Mega Guinea Pigs' gnawing at wires, pushing funiture around(!) and we were going to relocate them to the reserve.

The trap looked like a giant hamster wheel. We strained and rolled it's ungainly mass into the back of a ute and tied it down. The ute took off while Francoise and I and 2 other volunteers followed it in a little Fiat Uno.

(behold the cage!)

Then followed one of the most mad car rides Ive been on. While a navigator in front seat tried to make sense of convoluted JoBerg highways, off ramps and turn offs , we followed this ute (whose driver is native to these parts) ducking and weaving at high speeds over 140kms through huge trucks and crazily driven cars. There were plenty of white knuckle moments and a few screams I tell you. I feared that hamster wheel was going to spell our doom.

(Musn't lose the ute..)

The ute led us to a swanky hill suburb of JoBerg to a posh mansion overlooking a valley. We strained the wheel into place on a lawn while we watched the 'rock rabbits' racing around, to the chagrin of the well to do Afrikaans family that lived there. I note it was weird to be served a nice fruiit drink with ice from an ice maker and stand by a pool with a spectacular view, having come from a squatter camp the day before.

Another mad journey back to the reserve and grateful to be alive we had lunch before the next task of the day. We were meant to be testing the water of the dams here with little kits but just as we got the 'Water Testing 101' talk from our boss, a thunder + lightening storm rolled in. Obviously I was not keen to get out into the reserve with lightening bolts going off around but during a lull we headed out (apparently the repeated thunder storms we've had are very unusual this time of the year...global warming?)

It actually was quite pleasant (apart from some subsiding rain) to be out by a dam watching animals come down to drink. Nice cloudy sunset too. The powercut around dinner time sucked though, but I tried to entertain my fellow workers with candle light anecdotes as Francoise shook her head.

Manfred

Strobe Lights & 5th Form History Redux

Sat night four of us hit some bars in Hatfield, a trendy part of Pretoria. While avoiding the hugging pick pocketers and gargantuan sized rugby heads we were able to imbibe ridiculously cheap drinks and dance to genres ranging from heavy HEAVY metal to 'Grease' songs; though I think Francoise and I's style of dancing is a bit too street theatre for the Pretorian clubbing scene...


Sunday we were meant to be picked up at 8am for a JoBerg/Sowetto tour ...we waited by the side of the main highway for an hour till a gruff Afrikanner turned up in a car to inform us it was not his fault there was a stuff up and he was taking us to McDonalds in Pretoria. On getting there we joined a minibus comprised mostly of Europeans and one Aussie Girl. The driver was a gregarious African gentleman. We drove into JoBerg to see some of the sights...um what can you say about a city where big business physically abandons their central buildings in droves due to rampant crime to rebuild out of the city centre...leaving said abandoned office buildings to squatters and vandalism. The centre of JoBerg on Sun was deserted and did not seem at all inviting. Despite some nice buildings here and there, the fear of the tour driver-we were not allowed out of the van at all-the barb wire, the urban decay and the run down evidence of mining in the surrounds gives the place the air of something out of 'Mad Max'. Im not feeling overly joy joy joy about Francoise and I's short stints staying there after our time on the reserve is up.












(Francoise with JoBerg in the background)

Sowetto was more satisfying. It was like Mexico (or so im told) a bustling crazy patchwork of squatter camps, cheap housing, middle class housing and urban development (malls, govt housing etc). I note though the tour driver said he was only taking us to the safe areas and that some areas of Sowetto there was no way 'white people' could go there. I asked him at one point if I started walking down the road how long could I walk before something happened 'Dude!' he exclaimed and then he proceeded to say I would make it only a little way before I was pounced on. He reiterated white people stick out like a sore thumb and that criminals target those who appear to have $$-white people or black people who appear well fed(!) (I think as a well fed white person Im doubly screwed.)

We went to two Aparteid Museums...sobering stuff especially when you can visit the spots talked about in the museum straight afterwards. We had a traditional South African Lunch (meat n' maize) at a touristy place in a nice part of Sowetto. The tour driver said he had never met a vegetarian in South Africa his whole life before working with tourists so I helpfully pointed him towards Francoise. "dont you feel like an outcast?!' he blurted at her as I laughed...I mean consoled her.

We visited an illegal squatter camp with one tap for several hundred people. It managed to be disturbing (eg walking into peoples houses to view their squalor like they were exhibits) and nice (they were friendly and happy despite there poverty to our Westerner's eyes) at the same time. Francoise, despite my warning, got hussled by some kids who sweetly asked if she wanted to take their photo then demanded money (for gambling the squatter camp foreman told us).





We drove out of Sowetto to a nice sunset, singing to the sappy stuff that gets played on radio stations like Chicago and 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' etc.


However, nearing the reserve out in the sticks we went past a big traffic accident scene. South Africans drive at mental speeds on their roads and take insane passing risks...I hear 200 people were killed here in the Easter Weekend alone on the roads...they are not for the timid (he says as a non-driver)

It was dark and we had forgotten the remote gate opener to the Reserve so a quick fence jump avoiding the electrified sections and home 12 hours after leaving this morning for some ice cream.

Manfred the Well-Fed

"Late last night - whoo yeah!" and Saturday

Saw some mega cute Bushbabies last night around dusk. Pretty agile wee creatures the way they spring between the trees. Got some pretty cool shots - eventually, before they dashed off along the fence:

SATURDAY

Our day off, hoorah! Hung out playing monopoly most of the morning, which I graciously lost (LOL), drank brandy coffees and then headed out to a shopping centre out in the middle of nowhere. So weird compared to shops in New Zealand. there were about 8 restaurants with out door dining, and then a shoe shop, a hardware store, a post office, bookshop and a couple of supermarkets. Kind of a weird combo but I was pleased to pick up some snacks. After that back to base where we decided to so some baby giraffe spotting cos Mark, the volunteer co-ordinator had missed out the last time we saw it . Unfortunatly no sign of the baby G but Doug managed to get pretty close to some of the rest of the herd. Rather amazing creatures.

We're off to local bar tonight which should be interesting.

By the way, I've tried time and again to respond to emails but there seems to be some problem with the connection or systems around here. So if you haven't heard back it's not through lack of trying.

Francoise

All work and no play...

(Francoise shows that fence who's boss)

Most challenging day thus far. It started sedate enough when we took the ute to go collect bottles for recycling. We went past a huge iron gate as big as the Black Gate of Mordor to a nice little Afrikaan's house (complete with maid) and the hundreds of liqour bottles there kept in a shed. We filled up the ute and took them back to the reserve to recycle.

Then it got 'Survivor' like. I foolishly said a challenge would be good so Francoise and I for my rash statement were dropped literally miles from the house and made to wander the perimeter of a huge section of the reserve fence with naught the right tools to fix anything. We were plowing through thornbushs, rocks, bones and wasps for hours in the blazing sun. I started to get fearful as we were all alone in a huge plain but for a few curious BlesBok. We finally got to a shanty house and a padlocked gate so we jumped that and toiled up several kilometres of dusty road back to the house. The seasoned workers on the reserve acted like we had just been for a Sunday Stroll as we howled about how burnt and wasted we were.

Then we had a Conservation 101 class and booking of tours for the weekend.

Roll on said weekend.

Rowr!

Meat Cor! Hoorah!

More rock toiling today filling holes in roads. Disconcerting to be pulling up old bricks to put in the ute to see a Black Widow with its little red hourglass waist crawling on it 'It will only kill children', our supervisor cheerfully told us (in the same tone we had been told earlier not to touch the fence around the reserve which was electrified to 10 000 volts to stop car thieves)

That done, Kim the Canadian and I drove off in an ancient landrover (no windows, handles, gears etc) to 'Meat Cor' a huge open air cattle holding pen (ie for slaughter). (Francoise sat this out) We were cruising for cast off meat to entice Vultures into the reserve. So far no vultures have been seen though something was eating the regular dumps of meat and dragging off the bones (Jackals? Hyena?) 'Meat Cor' is acre after acre of sad or dead cows on arid soil in the burning sun...thankfully the human's office has nice greenery and a water feature. Hmm.On being met by the huggiest African worker ever, we took our containers of spare cow parts to the reserve and dumped it in anticipation.

That night 4 of us went on a night drive to the 'Vuture Resterant' to see if anything was gunning for the meat. We had flashlights blazing in every direction and soon saw eyes gleaming in the dark. I volunteered to get out and get closer to see what they were. My ute mates were doubtful as to the wisdom of this exercise. I got pretty close and was thinking 'is this the smartest thing to do?' and 'man thats a lot of eyes' when there was the loud Wildebeast warning snort and they stampeded away...as I hightailed back to the ute. Nothing else was seen though we did hear the screaming calls of jackals pretty close to us. We sat on matresses on the back of the ute with beers and contemplated the stars. Not a bad way to spend a night indeed.

Manfred

T.I.A (this is africa)

So second day of work this time road repairs, hauling rocks in a ute and dumping them in cracks in the badly damagede road (see wildebeasts behind me?)

Afternoon was a drive into Pretoria with a stop into a monster 6 storey mall. Wierd to be accosted by coat hanger sales people, street dancers as you drive around. Security and fencing everywhere. The mall was huge and we argued a bit in the searing heat as Francoise wanted sensible items we needed eg food while I wanted to check out the elephant fountain, aviary etc

We went into Pretoria proper, really nice city with nice parks, archetecture and statury.

People seemed curious (especially at my Weta top) but not dangerous. I was accosted a few times by citizens and asked where I was from 'You speak German in NZ?' 'I come visit you in Welliston, NZ' etc. We did a quick race around Church Square down Paul Kruger Street and thru the Transvaal Museum, then drove madly home under a huge lightening storm. The storm went on and on all night with lihgtening strikes a couple of metres from the house...freaky to watch....

toodles

Manfred

Photos

Um...Impala?

"Whatchoo looking at?"

Vulture Restaurant: